Unnatural Hair Colors

woman with green hair

I’ll be the first to admit my wife has gorgeous hair. Its sweet cinnamon tresses tumble in a rich medley of cutesy curls, luxurious locks, and wandering waves. Each strand has a distinctive shade and shape, making her head a symphony of natural beauty, a testimony to God’s craftsmanship. I love her hair.

Yet I’m drawn intensely to the idea of a totally unnatural hair color.

Vivid red, verdant green, cobalt blue, crispy white, shocking pink, or shadowy purple. Think of any color you’ve ever seen on a Splat advertisement.

The exotic element takes on an erotic element.

Perhaps there’s some psychological dynamic to her looking like a whole new person, but I don’t think so. After all, some highlights or a more natural shade change can make her look completely different, and can even be very sexy, but natural looking colors don’t really have the same potential wham factor. Except maybe for black. That might work.

Rather, I think the exotic element takes on an erotic element in my mind, playing off the rest of her beauty to make something distinct but still very much her.

Perhaps it’s due in part to the video games I played in my formative years, filled with Asian art styles resulting in, well, creative hair colors (not to mention creative hair physics — it’s amazing that a game could make hair look as stiff as steel alongside boobs that jiggle with every movement).

I don’t know for certain where it came from. I’m just fortunate she’s willing to cosplay.

Now, we just need to find a good, temporary hair coloring solution. Wigs are the failsafe, but they don’t handle conjugal jerks (or the jerks who do the jerking) very gracefully.

As an alternative, there are always extensions, which can inject a playfully exotic (and therefore playfully erotic) highlight here and there (or even a single one). This flirty touch can do wonders with my peculiar tastes.

Or, maybe, I’ll someday convince her to go all the way. Go permanent. Yeah right.

Photo credit: [email protected] / Foter / CC BY
About Phil (251 Articles)
Philip Osgood is a Christian husband, father, and writer who considers himself a passable video game player, fiction reader, camping and hiking enthusiast, welder, computer guy, and fitness aficionado, though real experts in each field might just die of laughter to hear him claim it. He has been called snarky, cynical, intelligent, eccentric, creative, logical, and Steve for some reason. Phil and his beautiful wife Clara live in Texas with their children in a house with a dog but no white picket fence. He does own a titanium spork from ThinkGeek, though, so he must be alright.