Hormones on Ice

ice hockey

My wife has quirks as much as I do, but sometimes you must dig a little deeper for hers. And hers are often far more interesting and unanticipated.

Which means sometimes you just stumble across them accidentally. Years ago, I had one such experience, and boy was it fun!

I was unaware of a little bit of information she’d already gathered in her previous experience. You can bet I’ll never forget now, though.

I took her out to see a professional sports game for the first time. Hockey, specifically. I’d never been to a pro hockey game before, though she had (minor leagues), and I was unaware of a little bit of information she’d already gathered in her previous experience. You can bet I’ll never forget now, though.

It turns out, hockey makes my wife horny.

Yes, you read that right. Hockey makes her horny.

It’s not hockey in general, mind you. It’s the live game. The fast pace, the violence, the atmosphere, the adrenaline it all brings with it… Something about it gets her all riled up.

Which is funny, considering she doesn’t know the first thing about hockey other than it’s played on ice. She doesn’t have a favorite team, she doesn’t follow any of the players, and she couldn’t tell the difference between the red line and the blue line if they weren’t painted red and blue. She knows nothing about the game, but apparently she doesn’t need to.

And now I know what to do if I ever want a hat trick.

About Phil (251 Articles)
Philip Osgood is a Christian husband, father, and writer who considers himself a passable video game player, fiction reader, camping and hiking enthusiast, welder, computer guy, and fitness aficionado, though real experts in each field might just die of laughter to hear him claim it. He has been called snarky, cynical, intelligent, eccentric, creative, logical, and Steve for some reason. Phil and his beautiful wife Clara live in Texas with their children in a house with a dog but no white picket fence. He does own a titanium spork from ThinkGeek, though, so he must be alright.