Find My Green

green glittery hat

Get ready for a pinch.

We each take turns with a timer, letting the other person strip all the clothes off us and hunt for our hidden speckle of green. Once the dot is found, the searcher calls it out and pinches it.

For our international readers, let me explain a silly tradition we have in many Western cultures. On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone is supposed to wear green. Maybe not fully green head-to-toe like Peter Pan, Link, and other characters who shop at Leprechauns-R-Us. But somewhere, you’re supposed to wear some green.

If someone forgets, then everyone who sees them that day gets to pinch them. If, however, it’s a mistaken pinch — that is, they are in fact wearing green — the green gets presented as proof and the pinchee gets to pinch the pincher twice. At least, that’s how I used to play the game,.

Well, this silly tradition is made even sillier as St. Patrick’s Day joins the cast of #irreverentholidays in the Osgood home.

At the start of the day, my wife and I are given a few moments alone with a Q-tip and a bit of green food coloring. Somewhere on our body, we’ll leave a tiny spot (about the size of a pea) that will later have to be found.

At the end of the day, we each take turns with a timer, letting the other person strip all the clothes off us and hunt for our hidden speckle of green. Once the dot is found, the searcher calls it out and pinches it.

If they’re right, the timer stops and we trade jobs. If they’re wrong, they get pinched back twice (pincher’s choice on location) and have to keep hunting.

Whoever finds the dot in the fastest time wins a reward of some sort. The reward usually involves sex, though, so everyone wins. What a joyous holiday!

Originally posted 2016-03-14 08:00:26.

Photo credit: vidalia_11 / Foter / CC BY
About Phil (251 Articles)
Philip Osgood is a Christian husband, father, and writer who considers himself a passable video game player, fiction reader, camping and hiking enthusiast, welder, computer guy, and fitness aficionado, though real experts in each field might just die of laughter to hear him claim it. He has been called snarky, cynical, intelligent, eccentric, creative, logical, and Steve for some reason. Phil and his beautiful wife Clara live in Texas with their children in a house with a dog but no white picket fence. He does own a titanium spork from ThinkGeek, though, so he must be alright.