Antlers Only

shadow of a man in antlers

It’s only fair. I’ve added a bit of #irreverentholidays flair to our Christmas Eve traditions with having my wife get all dressed up, so on Christmas night, I’ll return the favor by getting all dressed down.

It starts that morning. I’m wearing my new Christmas pajamas I unwrapped just last night — whatever she got me — with a pair of festively silly reindeer antlers strapped to my head. And as the day progresses, I may or may not change clothes, but the antlers will follow all day, reminding her of what’s coming after the kids go down.

As I dance, she tells me what to take off when until I’m wearing naught but the antlers.

When the time comes, I put on a little music and give her a little dance.

It will be terribly awkward because I dance like a drunken ferret having an epileptic fit, but she’ll have fun with it because she’ll be in control. As I dance, she tells me what to take off when until I’m wearing naught but the antlers.

With this done, I move on to strip her down, and lead her to the bed. I give her whole body a relaxing rub down with lotion, letting it saturate everywhere until it will hold no more. Then when she’s fully melted and not even aware of the antlers anymore, I finally take them off and make love to her.

I had a special night the night before. It’s only fair she gets something enjoyable tonight.

About Phil (251 Articles)
Philip Osgood is a Christian husband, father, and writer who considers himself a passable video game player, fiction reader, camping and hiking enthusiast, welder, computer guy, and fitness aficionado, though real experts in each field might just die of laughter to hear him claim it. He has been called snarky, cynical, intelligent, eccentric, creative, logical, and Steve for some reason. Phil and his beautiful wife Clara live in Texas with their children in a house with a dog but no white picket fence. He does own a titanium spork from ThinkGeek, though, so he must be alright.