I’ve talked about the subject of having boundaries properly set before, and I’ve even explained my method for determining boundaries. If you’ve read many of my posts here, you might have come to a conclusion that I simply don’t have any boundaries at all. Anything goes, so far as it’s not contrary to Scripture or love. Well, mister smarty pants, I’ve got a surprise for you.
I do have a boundary that’s arbitrary and irrational. I see no harm in Scripture, reason, experience, or church tradition, so it’s strictly my preference.
When I’m in the bathroom on the toilet, I want privacy. And when my wife is, I want to give her privacy.
I don’t flat out avoid it at all costs; I’ve had to shamefully eject myself out of a steamy co-shower for an emergency dash for the toilet before, screaming profuse apologies in an attempt to cover any other noises my body was making and hating every moment of it. Plus, young kids don’t know a thing about privacy like this, making universal avoidance impossible.
For me to poop in front of my wife is horrifying. She deserves so much better than experiencing that. Strangely, I have no such qualms about peeing in front of her. If anything, peeing is highly casual and often comical for a guy. At least in my book, it’s not a disgusting (unless improperly aimed) or disturbing act like the other.
I don’t care to encounter my wife in either activity, though. I’m far more disturbed by her seeing me than by seeing her, but I’d prefer if neither happened. Ever. As for pee, well, as I heard a comedian say once, “Sometimes I eat at that restaurant.” I know what happens there, but that doesn’t mean I care for a constant reminder. Still, this is a far smaller concern than the ole number two.
Generally, I’m a fan of a closed-door policy. It’s not crucial, and we’re too close to let it really get in the way — my wife drove me home after I completely lost control in my pants (it was the most psychologically agonizing experience of my life) and still decided not to stop having sex with me ever again. So if she can handle that, we can deal with the rest just fine, even if it means opening a closed door every once in a while.
But in general, if you’ve gotta poo, close the door, too.