theUMB – Celebrating Marital Passion and Christian Sex

Korean Cucumbers — Rejecting the Unique Beauty in Us All

I have long been frustrated by how marketers are able to foster a cruel, seemingly counterintuitive combination of vanity and self-loathing that sells products. I hate it [...]
Confronting Boundaries — Part 1

I recently wrote about my recognition that some boundaries aren’t as universally absolute as some Christians believe. Murder is wrong across the board, but can the same [...]
On Christian Modesty in Dress

Are Christians supposed to dress modestly? And what does that even mean? Can my wife wear a plunging neckline or a miniskirt for me to enjoy on a date night? What is [...]
Integral Faith – A Foundation of Sand

Years ago, I was fiery evangelical. Today, I'm very much not. Did I backslide? Or did I mature? I've been wrestling with this question a lot lately. [...]
Perfume at the Table – Song of Songs 1:12

Song of Songs 1:12 KJV: While the king sitteth at his table, / My spikenard sends forth the smell thereof. NIV: While the king was at his table, / My perfume spread its [...]

“Drink Your Fill.” – Christian Sex Shouldn’t Be Boring

Friday, March 13, 2026

Sex is fun. Good sex is really fun. I don’t think these truths would come as a surprise to people with healthy sex lives. Between hormonal chemistry and nervous [...]
Perverse Submission
Sexting
An Evolution of Consent – Rape Victim and Predator
Scripture on Masturbation

The Bible on Cursing

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Well, finding broad commands to not curse was surprisingly more difficult than finding the same for not swearing. Whereas swearing was forbidden directly and clearly, cursing seemed to be handled more circumspectly. [...]
Evangelical Malaise – When Christian Culture Doesn’t Sit Right
Gifts of Gratitude – What Thanksgiving Really Means
Truth in Love at a Candlelight Service
My Joseph Journey – Introduction

Fake Rape – Rape Roleplay

Sunday, September 15, 2024 // 2 Comments

A Quiet Evening You’re lounging on the couch, sipping on some merlot as you enjoy a quiet moment with a good book. The house is clean, dinner was excellent, and there [...]
Is it a Sin to Be Naked?

Tuesday, July 23, 2024 // 2 Comments

It always stuck with me how Adam and Eve strolled through the Garden of Eden stark naked in the presence of God. They had no shame and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. If [...]

Cookie Monster Kisses

His eyes went wide as I inhaled, pulled him in, and planted kisses and ridiculous growling noises on his cheeks and face. I sounded like the Cookie Monster devouring a triple layer chocolate chip cookie cake. A joyfully squealing cookie cake wearing a diaper. [...]
Exposed Repose – Can Parents Sleep Naked?
A Whale of a Lie – Pregnancy is Beautiful, but She Doesn’t Believe
Mandatory Homeschooling
Have a Ball – Reflecting on the Delight of a Child

When I Tease My Wife

I love to tease my wife. A lot. Does that make me a sociopath? A sadist? Or just a guy? Or, perhaps, is there not much difference between the three? [...]
Touch 2.0 – Love Dialects
Making It Happen
My Favorite Trophy [Wife]
Share your Dreams with your Spouse

Strip Laser Tag

With inexpensive laser guns available in stores and online, grown-ups can have grown-up fun with these kids' toys. Strip down and shoot your spouse! [...]
Roll the Tape
Scrubble [Your Mouth Out] – a Scrabble Sex Game
P-E-R-V-E-R-T – a Basketball Sex Game
Monopolust – a Monopoly Sex Game

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